A valuable lesson revisited

This Sunday a group of 13-14 guys (read ex IT-BHUites) met at the Moti Mahal restaurant in Bandra.The attendance was as expected mostly limited to 2005-2008 pass outs, with a couple of alumni from 98 batch, one from a batch from the 80's,along with a 2003 pass out being the only exceptions.

The luncheon started with the usual formalities, exchange of current location, year of passing out and stuff like that.After around 15-20 minutes walked in a man in his late forties, simply dressed who introduced himself as an alumni of a batch from the 80's.From then on it was him recalling his memories of BHU days as well as his last visit to BHU, which was in 2003 (if I recall correctly).

25-30 minutes into the conversation, he got casual with us, narrating his stories, enquiring about the professors and bakar in general.Till then we had not asked him where he worked, I think one of us just asked him in passing as to where he was working currently.To which, he replied that he had started his career with a PSU oil firm and then moved on to do his MBA ,then worked for a leading business daily as a VP, then the CEO of a business news channel before quitting to start his own consultancy. This final piece of information came as a shocker(at least to me).

Here was an ex-CEO of one of India's leading news channel,who has walked in 25-30 minutes ago dressed as simply as you can imagine, narrating his college experiences, using the choicest expletives without an iota of attitude. I have seen and worked with people who won't reach anywhere near his achievements but behave no less than an oracle.I think thats the magic of simplicity.Whatever may have been the objective with which I had gone into the informal meet,I know all of us go there for "networking".....I got a revision of a most valuable lesson which we often tend to forget in life.

"Auto"crats

I have tried various positions this evening but failed to get in.I have even tried to alter the movement of my fingers and thumb, to see if the response is any different bu to no avail.Not that this is my first failure to make any headway.This has been the case for almost a year now,and no solution seems to be in sight.

Before you recommend any well-known sexologist to treat this incompetency,let me make it clear that no one of them can solve this problem and I strongly believe they will also complain of the same symptoms once they are in my place.

It has been almost an hour in waiting,standing on the road outside my office and not one autowallah would let me in.At first it seemed that the symptoms were peculiar to me but luckily this self-belief in my incompetency has been dispelled over time by the inability of my friends to get in an auto before me.I have been having nightmares of missing an interview or failing to reach the airport in time.

One often wonders if these are rich billionaires running the autos for the sake of privacy and escaping the scrutiny of the IT department.They would ply their empty autos on the road and speed away in front of you not even bothering to give you a glance.Bhaiya west chaloge,Bhaiya Goregaon,Bhaiya Kandivali, not one of these pleas seem to buzz the determined autowallahs,who seem to be driving to reach No man's land.

An occasional auto would slow down,wait for your query, give you a glance which makes you wonder if he had seen you committing some mischief somewhere in the past and race away leaving you behind in a smoke of Carbon Dioxide,Sulphur Dioxide and Doubt.

I have been checking over the internet if one could use the RTI act on these autowallahs to seek information regarding their destination while they are driving.No concrete results have been found yet, but I would keep you posted of any updates.I know you have been suffering from this incompetency of getting in autos but due to samaj ka bhay and sharmindagi never came out in the open.

The ride that took my breath away (music!!)

It was not a journey on the Titanic (Kate Winslet inclusive) or a Rolls Royce but rather a journey on the rear of a scooter, brand unknown and make erased by the beatings of time that took my breath away (almost!).

Its proud owner visited me recently and reminded me of my duties to pay homage to the deceased soul.Suffering from an ailment (not AIDS),I dared to seek the vehicle from its esteemed owner to headback to my hostel after a lab practical.Not that it was my maiden voyage on this thing of beauty,but the fascinating part was it being driven by a friend of mine who was undertaking this maiden driving job for my sake.

We started the journey toppling a few bicycles parked in the department.It was a good omen.The distance was hardly a kilometer (Heard of small being dreadful?) but each metre seemed like a light year to me as my friend tried to hard to control the damned vehicle and I did my balancing act on the rear ignoring Newton's third law of motion (ever heard of the 4th law?kabhi fursat mein milna bataunga,abhi tak Einstein bhi galat prove nahi kar paya hai).Each passing centimetre was an achievement,wished they put more milli-milestones in between.The straight patches of road brought temporary relief to us, but I cursed the man who thought of creating curves on roads,(though I don't mind their presnece on other objects).It was afternoon so there were few heavy vehicles on the road and we saved many people from landing behind bars accused of crushig us.

Finally, we reahced our destination and toppled a few more bicycles parked in the hostel as a mark of victory, not failing to congratulate each other on this marvellous feat.I bet even Valentino Rossi or for that matter schumacher would not feel as elated as we were on completing this lap and taking pole position.(kuchh jyada ho gaya)

The three C's

I bet you won't believe me if I reveal that this decision to pursue management was made in a running train within a span of 5-10 minutes.Returning from my native place after my Dussehra vacations, a thought occured to me that the best way to utilise my time in the last 2 years of my engineering would be to prepare for management entrance.I was certainly not moved by the plight of the Sleeper compartment which resembled a gas chamber at that time.Trains in India and particularly those originating, passing through or even spending an iota of time in my native state are the best examples of Equality in Unequality(what is that?).It does not matter whether you have a general class sleeper class or no class ticketa , you have equal rights as the person next to you(crouching in his seat, pushed aside by the deluge of people on his berth) who spent an undisclosed amount of his time and money on a ticket window,purchasing ticket for this journey.On one such eventful journey, one of my friends attempted to pacify the vociferous attempts being made by a daily passenger Babu to find a corner(to begin with)on his seat by pleading he had made a long journey and needed some rest.The reply of the Babu was the most hillarious one I have heard in my entire life."so what?the other day terrorists tried to blow off the AP chief Minister..now will you hold me responsible for that?"

This incessant spell of rains seems to be following me.First it was Calicut now Mumbai.Nothing much has changed except the perspective(phew!).There I used to blame the rains for the gloominess in the atmosphere, here I blame the gloominess for the rains(I need to quit writing ASAP).Friends and relatives excited by the news on channels about Mumbai being flooded call up to be part of the excitement in the hope I will crib how tough it has become to move out,maybe I didn't get any place to eat..should start hoarding stuff for the days ahead.They are more aware of the havoc caused by the rains than me(probably because the cable is not working since morning).Even on normal days, I spend my time sleeping or idling time(as I am doing now)..so doesn't mke much of a differnce to me except if I am not able to make it to the office on Monday.By now you must have realized what a moron I am(admit it or else I will keep bugging you)...taliking like this sitting in the most happening place of the country.Reading blogs of most people, this is the common theme which arises.People tend to show themselves as the most moron, fat assed junks to arrive on this planet.Haven't read a blog in which people describe themselves as a topper in college, a lady charmer,or doing any good deed.They always paint themselves negatively.So keeping up with this tradition, I would bug you with some more moronic traits of mine.

While exploring other aspects of my MBA life, I stumbled upon a number of unique traits (don’t worry I am not embarking upon the trait theory) which have developed in me over time. None of these are coincidental and bear strong resemblance to an MBA dead or Alive. Since I have made a reference to the 3 M’s, it would be unfair on my part to ignore the 3 C’s of my character. I have somehow restricted myself from including the 4th C of Characterlessness avoiding the temptation of thread-baring my character in public domain. The 3 C’s are Committeelessness, Contentlessness and Core Competencylessness. Each of these needs to be discussed at length separately. I would describe the Committeelessness C first.

Committeelessness

These days I seem to have developed a special liking towards committees. No, don’t worry I am not talking about parliamentary committees but the numerous committees formed in my institute. And this phenomenon seems to be spread across institutes. The other day I was talking to a committeeless friend of mine who was also worried about the alarming increase in the number of committees.

Committeelessness is a verb or adjective (whatever it is) which is yet to find a place in the oxford dictionary and unless the oxford committee which decides on the inclusion of words acts fast, the very species would be extinct. Under the changing world order it is very difficult to remain committeeless. Hunters are already on the prowl for committeeless people. Hey! Anyone without a committee there? A census carried across B-schools would reveal this startling decline in the number of committeeless people.

Before getting absorbed in one of these existing committees, I intend to form a committee of my own, one which would suggest existing committeeless areas where new committees can be formed. Maybe the government could come up with a ‘Save Committeelessness’ Project. It is not having much success with the ‘Save Tiger project’ anyway. The Pataudis and the khans would get a breather for some time. Hold a minute I can see the web. This is a nationwide plot to eliminate committeeless people and there idea of Committeelessness. We urge people to come in large numbers to support our cause before we become a Dodo (there are already far too many similarities!).

Sometimes I wonder on the virtues of being committeeless. You do feel left out when you are committeeless. All committees hold meetings (the frequency directly proportional o the sex ratio; male to female of course, why were you smiling mischievously) and you are not invited to any of them. Thus Committeelessness leads to a feeling of meetinglessness (the autocorrect tool in MSword was about to replace this word with meaninglessness) and the two are enough to drive you crazy unless you are already crazy enough. I make it a point to attend academic group meetings to prevent this feeling of meetinglessness from colluding with the feeling of committeelessness.

Just as I was jotting down this shit, my committeeless friend announced his decision to quit the committee of committeeless people for he had started a committee of his own. I am also counting my days as a member of this committeeless committee.

Contentlessness

The C of contentlessness has been haunting me from childhood. Be it in a normal conversation a group discussion or in class participation, it has always come handy in ruining my day. Watching people pour out their content on these occasions often leaves me wondering whether i have been deprived of some physical organ which acts as a content storage device. After putting much effort in preparing a talk, I often find myself caught in an iterative loop, repeating the same sentence twice and thrice over and taking pity on the plight of the audience, make it a point to terminate the loop by an abrupt ending. This has reflected in my writing skills as well as I have failed to move beyond a single answer sheet in most examinations thus contributing in decreasing the menace of deforestation.

Having suffered from this disease since childhood, i have found a rather strategic (please do not take offence on usage of this word) solution to it. An intellectual sleep is the most invigorating device which has come to my rescue in gathering my thoughts on such occasions. If you are wondering what an intellectual sleep is, try turning your brains off with eyes wide open in the midst of a conversation. New ideas flow to your content storage device (if you have one) and I have often been able to re-join the talk with one or two sentences which may or may not be in sync with the ongoing discussion before re-joining the loop.

Contentlessness definitely has its advantages as taking pity on your handicap; people do not bother you for suggestions to their problems. You can always cite contentlessness as the reason for your non-participation in group works and make people feel good about their own CSDs.

Before I enter into my iterative loop again and start boring you with the same content, its time to sign off.

Core Competencylessness

Core Competency was a term which I came across for the first time during Mangement Education.Till that time I had idled my time posing supreme faith in Group Competency, whatever the group does must be followed.I have often landed myself in situations from where Group movement has rescued me. An engineering degree after 10+2 followed by a management degree is a perfect testimony to this theory.But during my MBA I realised (was made to realise)that each individual (product) has his own unique traits and its own lifecycle.I have always believed in the philosophy of the four ashrams.Not even in my wildest dreams had I thought that I have reached the Decline stage of my lifecycle so early in my career and that too without going through the growth phase.But the verdict was clear even a naive plotting my product Lifecycle would have been quick to point it out.It was with this mindset that I went through the motions of the Placement Process.And not surprisingly,following the herd instinct have landed up in a place from where another Group movement will rescue me.

I have always wondered what my core competency is, sometimes musing alone and at other times discussing it with other CCless friends of mine.An average jack at some trades (below average in countless others) and a master at none.That sums it all.Some of my friends are good at marketing, others bonded to finance while I can talk about both for a maximum of 5 minutes and then its all over.I would enter the loop I talked about earlier.But being CCless does make your decision making quicker, oh that job thats not my core competency yaar just can't do it.Hurray!!(am all dressed up now or would have shouted Eureka!)there you go the tagline for all CCless people or should I say products "Just Can't do it"(copyrighted).Hope Nike doesn't have an issue with it.

I have lost my obsession regarding remaining commiteeless and giving serious thought to forming a committee of non competent, i mean non core competent people.If you feel you don't have it in you, come join me."Everyone's invited"

Me, Myself and MBA [The 3 Ms of an uneventful life]

Help me O lord! The Flood is taking me in, water making its way through my interiors. It seems the end of universe, with no mythological boats in sight. Perhaps it passed my island while I was asleep. Holy shit! Yes I was sleeping. How can I be so stupid to imagine such things? Rolling in bed, I try to dream of better things, but just then the alarm sounds. Emerging from the flood, I have another twenty minutes to class and the real test begins. The million dollar question, whether to waste these twenty minutes in useless chores like bathing or make the most of it by having another short say 12 ….(no I guess 14 would be Just In Time) minute nap. They say the heart is wiser than the brain (or is it the other way round), sense prevails and I doze off for another very short nap.


This dream of being engulfed by floods is not new. It has been there ever since I set foot in this campus. Incessant rains have made matters worse. Sitting on top of a hill with nothing but foolishly swinging coconut trees in sight, and Indra pouring tankers full of water in Brahma’s own country, this feeling is bound to set in. Indra must have entered into some secret pact with Shiva to capsize Brahma’s own country.


When you follow Just in Time you have to follow it strictly, no time wasting on Breakfasts. I drag myself to class, skipping the breakfast. After a few minutes the switch is turned off and everything seems to be in oblivion. I was dozing off, while some faint music (probably the voice of the professor) was going on in the background. Suddenly, the words what is the ultimate aim of an organization echoed through my ears. I considered the opportunity cost of interrupting my sleep to the ultimate business mantra being disclosed in the class. Finally my managerial conscience, these days I have come to develop two consciences, and believe me it’s not difficult to do so, took control. I would disclose its secret later, perhaps this could motivate you to navigate through the book which I doubt you would otherwise do. I forgot, I was talking about the opportunities in store and giving in to my managerial conscience. I listened intently to the professor who had put forth this question. As expected more than a few known hands shot up in air. These days I can recognize some of my classmates from the complexion of their hand, the manner in which it shoots up in air for answering. Profit making beamed one of the students and there was a sigh from some corners of the class (I am trying to learn this art of recognizing people by their sighs, but haven’t mastered it yet) for most of them thought they had lost the opportunity to cash in on some Class Participation marks.


But the professor’s nod in the negative, once again encouraged the students and this time not wasting time in shooting up hands, an uproar rose in the class. One often talks of great timing in cricket, but the art of timing your reply to be heard amidst the din is the one I most envy. Be it a class discussion or a group discussion this technique can make or break your day. Thus one student perfectly timed his reply and as they say adding another perspective to the discussion, he opined of Human Welfare being the ultimate aim of any company. He was inspired by Marshall, Amartya Sen and the likes or was it the trickle down effect of the previous day class on Social Transformation in India, I cannot say with conviction, but most of us thought he had struck the global cord. The teacher’s frown on this reply didn’t encourage many for we thought we had exhausted all possibilities. Sporting a victorious smile on, he declared authoritatively “Money making is the ultimate aim of any firm”. This led to a faint murmur from some people for they felt they had missed the correct answer by a whisker. The discussion continued with everyone chipping in with their ideas (those who had them) and without wasting any more time I switched off my managerial conscience, returning to my slumber.

When I decided to write this piece I was so stuffed with the 3 M’s and 6 C’s (someone has come up with even 7 M’s )and the nth what nots of marketing that I was not at all surprised by the title which came to my mind, the 3 M’s of my book. One of my friends asked as to what all interesting things were going on during my stay here and I stretched my mind (whatever is left of it) to its extremes (both positive and negative if some mathematicians have doubts regarding it), and the only reply I could come up with was that the subjects were very interesting. And indeed when you can understand only a bushel out of chaff, the unfathomed becomes interesting.

These are turbulent times for a guy like me, just out of an undergrad college and trying to explore the business arena (once again in books). Many of my classmates have worked for sometime and are really enjoying the break there. Whenever I am cribbing about the lack of freedom and the excessive workload, they are quick to point out that matters are much worse in the working environment. This often leaves me wondering about my prospective life. I have developed such a fancy about project leaders (through conversations with my working friends and not to mention the numerous forwards that are full of atrocities committed by PL’s and PM’s) that I cannot imagine a project leader without a whip in his hand slashing the butts of innocent subordinates. (To be continued…..) I wish so ;-)

Changing Times...

Serial Blasts Rock Varanasi, 12 dead
It was another evening in IIMK, busy doing asignments, Chatting with friends, when this news article was sent across by one of my batchmates.Had it been any other city, the news would have gone largely unnoticed or at the max I would have followed the link to get the details of how it happened when it happened, and gone along with my work. But as with other people, since this place is so close to my heart, having been out of BHU just a year ago, the news carried immeasurable significance. On further enquiry, I found that the blasts had occurred at sankatmochan and Cantt, while shivganga express was about to leave.

My mind flashed back to exactly the same date a year earlier when I had cleared my CAT examination and was traveling to Delhi for my IIMK interview and would have been boarding the train when the blast occurred. If u have been to snaktmochan mandir on Tuesday, you would be aware of the crowd that flocks the temple on this day. And to target this place on such an occasion can at best be described as mental sickness. To whichever religion, outfit the people belong to, I cannot imagine how homicide can be planned so meticulously.

This incident again has raised serious issues about our internal security, the way it is being handled by the government. But more than that it brings to fore the mental status of our society. After the Delhi or for that matter the London bomb blasts, the media had praised the people in both the cities for going on with normal business just a day after the blasts. But I cannot determine whether this is courage or helplessness. What were the media expecting, people would sit back at home assuming that it was not safe to go out into the crowded buses and trains. I beg to differ, the venturing out of people is somewhere related to the failure of the internal belief that they are safe.

Such incidents have now become an imminent part of our lives and hence people really don't care about it unless it happens to their near and dear ones. They feel the best thing they can do is to carry on with their normal business and not to make a fuss out of the whole incident because it won't make any difference to anyone in the government or for that matter to the perverted minds that carry out such attacks. Hence why waste a day's living for a cause about which they can do nothing. And I cannot see the situation changing in the near future. The pace at which our country has grown both in developmental terms, population wise, it is nearly impossible to provide security cover at each location. And the people also seem to have resigned to this fate….

My Lonely battle

It gives me great pleasure to announce that i am fighting a lonely battle
Battle!Against what?Against whom?
I am not sure,trying to find out
You must be wondering how difficult it would be for me to fight a lonely battle against an unknown entity
But believe me it is easier to fight a battle of this sort
Each one of us can start our own little battles
But when will this all end?
Don't know!Maybe the day i realize what i am fighting against
My battle would end, but yours would have just begun then.