The three C's

I bet you won't believe me if I reveal that this decision to pursue management was made in a running train within a span of 5-10 minutes.Returning from my native place after my Dussehra vacations, a thought occured to me that the best way to utilise my time in the last 2 years of my engineering would be to prepare for management entrance.I was certainly not moved by the plight of the Sleeper compartment which resembled a gas chamber at that time.Trains in India and particularly those originating, passing through or even spending an iota of time in my native state are the best examples of Equality in Unequality(what is that?).It does not matter whether you have a general class sleeper class or no class ticketa , you have equal rights as the person next to you(crouching in his seat, pushed aside by the deluge of people on his berth) who spent an undisclosed amount of his time and money on a ticket window,purchasing ticket for this journey.On one such eventful journey, one of my friends attempted to pacify the vociferous attempts being made by a daily passenger Babu to find a corner(to begin with)on his seat by pleading he had made a long journey and needed some rest.The reply of the Babu was the most hillarious one I have heard in my entire life."so what?the other day terrorists tried to blow off the AP chief Minister..now will you hold me responsible for that?"

This incessant spell of rains seems to be following me.First it was Calicut now Mumbai.Nothing much has changed except the perspective(phew!).There I used to blame the rains for the gloominess in the atmosphere, here I blame the gloominess for the rains(I need to quit writing ASAP).Friends and relatives excited by the news on channels about Mumbai being flooded call up to be part of the excitement in the hope I will crib how tough it has become to move out,maybe I didn't get any place to eat..should start hoarding stuff for the days ahead.They are more aware of the havoc caused by the rains than me(probably because the cable is not working since morning).Even on normal days, I spend my time sleeping or idling time(as I am doing now)..so doesn't mke much of a differnce to me except if I am not able to make it to the office on Monday.By now you must have realized what a moron I am(admit it or else I will keep bugging you)...taliking like this sitting in the most happening place of the country.Reading blogs of most people, this is the common theme which arises.People tend to show themselves as the most moron, fat assed junks to arrive on this planet.Haven't read a blog in which people describe themselves as a topper in college, a lady charmer,or doing any good deed.They always paint themselves negatively.So keeping up with this tradition, I would bug you with some more moronic traits of mine.

While exploring other aspects of my MBA life, I stumbled upon a number of unique traits (don’t worry I am not embarking upon the trait theory) which have developed in me over time. None of these are coincidental and bear strong resemblance to an MBA dead or Alive. Since I have made a reference to the 3 M’s, it would be unfair on my part to ignore the 3 C’s of my character. I have somehow restricted myself from including the 4th C of Characterlessness avoiding the temptation of thread-baring my character in public domain. The 3 C’s are Committeelessness, Contentlessness and Core Competencylessness. Each of these needs to be discussed at length separately. I would describe the Committeelessness C first.

Committeelessness

These days I seem to have developed a special liking towards committees. No, don’t worry I am not talking about parliamentary committees but the numerous committees formed in my institute. And this phenomenon seems to be spread across institutes. The other day I was talking to a committeeless friend of mine who was also worried about the alarming increase in the number of committees.

Committeelessness is a verb or adjective (whatever it is) which is yet to find a place in the oxford dictionary and unless the oxford committee which decides on the inclusion of words acts fast, the very species would be extinct. Under the changing world order it is very difficult to remain committeeless. Hunters are already on the prowl for committeeless people. Hey! Anyone without a committee there? A census carried across B-schools would reveal this startling decline in the number of committeeless people.

Before getting absorbed in one of these existing committees, I intend to form a committee of my own, one which would suggest existing committeeless areas where new committees can be formed. Maybe the government could come up with a ‘Save Committeelessness’ Project. It is not having much success with the ‘Save Tiger project’ anyway. The Pataudis and the khans would get a breather for some time. Hold a minute I can see the web. This is a nationwide plot to eliminate committeeless people and there idea of Committeelessness. We urge people to come in large numbers to support our cause before we become a Dodo (there are already far too many similarities!).

Sometimes I wonder on the virtues of being committeeless. You do feel left out when you are committeeless. All committees hold meetings (the frequency directly proportional o the sex ratio; male to female of course, why were you smiling mischievously) and you are not invited to any of them. Thus Committeelessness leads to a feeling of meetinglessness (the autocorrect tool in MSword was about to replace this word with meaninglessness) and the two are enough to drive you crazy unless you are already crazy enough. I make it a point to attend academic group meetings to prevent this feeling of meetinglessness from colluding with the feeling of committeelessness.

Just as I was jotting down this shit, my committeeless friend announced his decision to quit the committee of committeeless people for he had started a committee of his own. I am also counting my days as a member of this committeeless committee.

Contentlessness

The C of contentlessness has been haunting me from childhood. Be it in a normal conversation a group discussion or in class participation, it has always come handy in ruining my day. Watching people pour out their content on these occasions often leaves me wondering whether i have been deprived of some physical organ which acts as a content storage device. After putting much effort in preparing a talk, I often find myself caught in an iterative loop, repeating the same sentence twice and thrice over and taking pity on the plight of the audience, make it a point to terminate the loop by an abrupt ending. This has reflected in my writing skills as well as I have failed to move beyond a single answer sheet in most examinations thus contributing in decreasing the menace of deforestation.

Having suffered from this disease since childhood, i have found a rather strategic (please do not take offence on usage of this word) solution to it. An intellectual sleep is the most invigorating device which has come to my rescue in gathering my thoughts on such occasions. If you are wondering what an intellectual sleep is, try turning your brains off with eyes wide open in the midst of a conversation. New ideas flow to your content storage device (if you have one) and I have often been able to re-join the talk with one or two sentences which may or may not be in sync with the ongoing discussion before re-joining the loop.

Contentlessness definitely has its advantages as taking pity on your handicap; people do not bother you for suggestions to their problems. You can always cite contentlessness as the reason for your non-participation in group works and make people feel good about their own CSDs.

Before I enter into my iterative loop again and start boring you with the same content, its time to sign off.

Core Competencylessness

Core Competency was a term which I came across for the first time during Mangement Education.Till that time I had idled my time posing supreme faith in Group Competency, whatever the group does must be followed.I have often landed myself in situations from where Group movement has rescued me. An engineering degree after 10+2 followed by a management degree is a perfect testimony to this theory.But during my MBA I realised (was made to realise)that each individual (product) has his own unique traits and its own lifecycle.I have always believed in the philosophy of the four ashrams.Not even in my wildest dreams had I thought that I have reached the Decline stage of my lifecycle so early in my career and that too without going through the growth phase.But the verdict was clear even a naive plotting my product Lifecycle would have been quick to point it out.It was with this mindset that I went through the motions of the Placement Process.And not surprisingly,following the herd instinct have landed up in a place from where another Group movement will rescue me.

I have always wondered what my core competency is, sometimes musing alone and at other times discussing it with other CCless friends of mine.An average jack at some trades (below average in countless others) and a master at none.That sums it all.Some of my friends are good at marketing, others bonded to finance while I can talk about both for a maximum of 5 minutes and then its all over.I would enter the loop I talked about earlier.But being CCless does make your decision making quicker, oh that job thats not my core competency yaar just can't do it.Hurray!!(am all dressed up now or would have shouted Eureka!)there you go the tagline for all CCless people or should I say products "Just Can't do it"(copyrighted).Hope Nike doesn't have an issue with it.

I have lost my obsession regarding remaining commiteeless and giving serious thought to forming a committee of non competent, i mean non core competent people.If you feel you don't have it in you, come join me."Everyone's invited"